By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
