Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
