we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
