What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize