how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
