Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you inspire me to be a worse person
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
