so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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