Moan for me like Helen Keller
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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