I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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