Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
