I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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