I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize