I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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