I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
