My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize