Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(785): View more from Kansas

First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.

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(647): View more from Ontario

im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.

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(813): View more from Florida

Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?

(410): View more from Maryland

are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am

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