Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am