You work out of a Hotel?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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