well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
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He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
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We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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