Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
