Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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