Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
