Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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