i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
