she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
