And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize