when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
