my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
BRING THE BAGELS
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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