I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
