I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You made out with two different species that night
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
