i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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