in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
