return my video game
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize