I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
