I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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