so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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