I love black thongs
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Please don't give away my fajitas
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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