waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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