Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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