Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He shit in the fireplace
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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