Whoa Z and x make the same sound
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
