Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
