Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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