So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
