Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch

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(516): View more from New York

I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(912): View more from Georgia

Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.

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(805): View more from California

we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard

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(330): View more from Ohio

I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly

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(913): View more from Kansas

His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.

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