she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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