i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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