i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
