Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
