I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
