My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
