I wannas sexs uuuuu
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
