Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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