Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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