some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
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And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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