He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
