So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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