also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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