atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
